Forbidden Love SebastianXCiel
by Blaze the Warrior
Summary: Master and Butler. Earl and Demon. That's all they ever were. Nothing more. That is until a game is played on a regular, boring day in the Phantomhive. Will Ciel realize and admit his love for Sebastian? Or will he abandon it in hopes of keeping his status as an Earl. Who knew that one mistake could cost him the thing most precious to him?
1. His Butler, Nothing More

_ Ever since that day...the day we signed a contract...all we've been was a Master and his butler. I never thought of him more than I should. I ordered him around. I even called him a bastard when he teased me. People asked me from the past if I felt something for him. Anything at all. And my reply was simple: No. Never. They were bloody bastards for even considering that. But those words were lies. Lies that I've kept inside my mind ever since._

"...Young Master, it is time to wake up," said a voice.

He stirred as he felt something shake his shoulder. It was a hand. A gloved hand was shaking his shoulder gently as Ciel Phantomhive slept. Drowsily, Ciel blinked his eyes open slightly. His vision at first was blurry and he couldn't see anything clearly. But then his gaze cleared and he found himself staring at the butler. The butler's crimson eyes stared back and he stood up straight.

"Waking you this morning took longer than usual."

Without responding, Ciel sat up and rubbed the back of his head. As usual, his hair was messed up. But as soon as his butler fixed it, he would no longer look like a horrendous picture. His blue eyes were filled with nothing but exhaustion. Nothing new there. Sebastian knelt before Ciel as his cup of tea sat on the small table next to his bed. Ciel didn't even bother to take a sip from it. That's how much drowsiness was filled inside him. Sebastian began to undo the buttons on his night shirt as Ciel kept staring into space.

"Are you awake, bocchan?"

"Yes." Ciel snapped back to reality and looked down at the butler. "Why would you ask such a silly question?"

Sebastian pulled the night shirt over his Master's head and slipped a new shirt on. Ciel was staring into space again as Sebastian continued to dress him in the same speed as usual. Several thoughts entered the butler's mind as he began to wonder what it could be that distracted his young Master's mind. Finally he began to put Ciel's shoes on carefully and stood up when he was done. By that time, Ciel had snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Sebastian. The hot tea on the table had now cooled and the butler knew Ciel wouldn't even touch it. He sighed and walked towards the door.

"Sebastian," mumbled Ciel as he rubbed his eyes again. "Do you have anything planned?"

"You have paperwork to do, my Lord," replied Sebastian as a smirk formed across his face.

A scowl escaped his mouth as Ciel laid on his back; closing his eyes. This was truly going to be a boring day to Ciel.

* * *

A sigh escaped Ciel's mouth as he looked down at the remaining paperwork that needed to be completed by the end of the day. So much work. So much time he had spent in his study. He wanted to do something interesting.

"Bored, kid?"

Ciel looked up from the paperwork on his desk and in front of him. Right there stood a red-headed reaper. Grell Sutcliffe. Ciel narrowed his eyes. "How'd you get in?" he demanded.

"That's not important." Grell grinned and walked up to Ciel's desk. "If you're bored, I have a game we could play."

Ciel looked away. Would he really play a game with this grim reaper? Depended on what the game was exactly. Finally he looked into the reapers eyes.

"What game?"

"It's a game of something involving dares. As in, an order pretty much." Grell smiled. "And we get to 'dare' each other to do things, no matter what the dare is. If one does not do his dare…" Grell pulled out his death scythe. "They will die."

It took Ciel a moment to think about it. Would he really sacrifice his life for this game? Yeah, he would. There was no possible way a dare could be that bad.

"Fine."

"Yes!" Grell took out a pen and paper; ripping it in half. "Now, you write down a few dares, and I'll write down some. We'll put them all in your hat and pick from it. The dare we get is the one we must do—no matter what it is."

"Fine…fine…whatever." Ciel took the piece of paper and began writing down random things for the reaper to do:  
**  
Jump off a cliff…**  
**  
Go die in a ditch**  
**  
Kill yourself**

**Leave me alone**

Finally they finished writing down dares and put them all inside Ciel's hat. What did this reaper put in…? Hopefully nothing to ruin his reputation as the Earl Phantomhive. Grell shook the hat; mixing the papers and lowered it to Ciel.

"You first."

Ciel reached in a grabbed a piece of paper. Hearts were drawn all over it. This piece of paper looked like Grell wanted it. Why were there so many bloody hearts? He unfolded the paper only to hear Grell gasp.

"That's the slip I wanted you brat!" whined Grell as he began to throw a tantrum. "Why do you get everything!"

Ignoring his complaints, Ciel read what the reaper wrote:  
**  
Kiss Sebas-chan!**

Ciel dropped the slip of paper and stared at the wall. Kiss Sebastian. His own butler! Ciel felt his cheeks burn red at the thought of his lips pressing against Sebastian's.

"Well…it's a dare!" pouted Grell as he crossed his arms. "You have to go kiss Sebas-chan!"

"I-I'm not going to," mumbled Ciel as he turned away.

"You said you would! No matter what it was!" whined Grell.

"I said I wasn't going to—" snapped Ciel before Grell interrupted him.

"I thought you weren't the type to be a loser at games," muttered Grell. "This is like a child's game. But you lost so easily—"

"I'll do it!"

Ciel slammed his hands on the table as he stood up. This was just a dare. Nothing more! But Ciel felt strange as he walked out of the room to find his butler. Why did he feel…a sudden eagerness? Why did he feel slightly worried? He spotted Sebastian down the hall walking in Ciel's direction. His butler's red eyes gazed into his.

"Young Master? What's the matter—"

"Shut up!" snapped Ciel as he grabbed Sebastian's tie and pulled him down; kissing him instantly. At first Ciel had kissed him slowly, but then he became rougher. After a few seconds of kissing his butler, he suddenly realized what he was doing and let go of his tie; turning away and running back to his study as his cheeks burned red. What did he do? What did Sebastian think of him now? He began to blush more as he thought of it. But why did he kiss Sebastian for so long? Why not a small kiss on the lips?


	2. His Butler, Understanding

_It was all the dare… That one dare made me kiss my butler. The feelings I've felt was something I never imagined that be for him. I never felt that way towards Elizabeth either… How shocking it was to kiss my butler and…enjoy it. Those days were when I realized how I truly felt about him. But…why…?_

* * *

Ciel decided not to go to his study anymore. There was no place to hide from the embarrassment. Surely the butler would think of him as fool. Even if Ciel told him the reason why he did it, Sebastian would be smarter and ask him why Ciel kissed him for so long. And then Ciel would have nothing to say. That's the question that bugged him. Why? Why did he kiss his butler like that for so long? His feet thudded on the floor as he raced to his room. After running down the long hallway, he finally reached his bedroom and swung the door open and shutting it. He jumped onto his bed and hid his face in the pillow. He gripped the pillow tightly and waited for Sebastian to come into his room, knowing he was about to ask a lot of questions. Finally he heard heavy footsteps outside his room and his grip on the pillow tightened. Someone knocked on the door twice.

"My Lord?"

Ciel froze at the butler's voice. "C-come in…"

The door opened and in came his butler. Sebastian looked over at Ciel and his crimson eyes stared at Ciel who still hid his face in the pillow. He began to feel himself tremble in embarrassment. Why did he feel like this? Why did he feel strange with Sebastian in the same room?

"…Bocchan? What's the matter?"

"Go ahead and ask me!" shouted Ciel as he threw the pillow aside and stared into the butler's blood red eyes. "Ask me why I did it! I don't care anymore."

Sebastian chuckled and smirked. "Is that why you're trembling in fear? You think that this has ruined my impression of you."

"Shut up!"

"If you wish me to ask, then I shall ask you," said Sebastian as he leaned down towards Ciel; his red eyes menacing. "Why did you kiss me for so long?"  
_  
D-damn! I should have known he would have asked that rather than why I kissed him. Now I can't say it was the dare…_

"W-why do you care?" muttered Ciel as he crossed his arms.

"Because it seems what you did bothered you greatly. If it was a simple game, why did you kiss me for so long? Why didn't you just tell me it was because of a game instead of hiding from me?" Sebastian challenged as he stood up straight. "Perhaps it's because you feel something towards me?"

"I-I…" Ciel lowered his head; hair hiding his eyes. What was he supposed to say? He had nothing at all to defend himself. But his heart began to beat fast as he remembered kissing the butler. He looked up and grabbed his butler by the tie again and pulled him down towards him; kissing him again. "…I do…"

The butler widened his eyes, but his gaze softened slightly as he kissed Ciel back. After countless seconds of kissing, Ciel pulled away and wiped his mouth. _Did I just kiss my butler? Did I really kiss him because I wanted to? W-what's the matter with me?  
_  
"…I-I want a parfait!" snapped Ciel as he pushed the butler back. "Go prepare one!"

Sebastian stared at his Master for a moment before bowing. "Very good, my Lord."

He left the room immediately and Ciel felt his heart beat slowly. Why did he kiss his butler? It was as if his mind took over rather than him own self and that's how it happened. Ciel laid on his bed and gazed at the ceiling; his hand against his chest where he felt his heartbeat. _I do not love him… I do not like him… I hate him… I hate him… I have no feelings for that Demon whatsoever…_

* * *

Sebastian had given Ciel his parfait but did so without saying a word. None of them said anything to each other for the rest of the night. Ciel was now in his study; looking over the paperwork he had yet to finish. But all he thought about was Sebastian. Doing so, he began to doodle on his work. And he widened his eyes as he realized what he was doodling. It was hearts. Filled with anger and frustration, Ciel shoved the papers off his desk. Why was he frustrated about this? Ciel scowled as he stared at the door in front of him. He heard Pluto howling in a distance of the Phantomhive manor and knew it was time for him to sleep. It was ten 'o' clock probably. And yet he didn't finish his paperwork. The stupid reaper distracted him. And now he kissed his butler. What for? There was a knock at his door and Ciel looked up.

"Come in."

Sebastian opened the door and walked in the room with the candle light. It had been dark in his room and the only thing that lit up the room slightly was the shining stars outside. He stood in front of Ciel's desk and bowed.

"It is time to put you to bed, my Lord."

"I know it is…" mumbled Ciel as he looked up at the butler.

"Is something that matter?" he asked.

"Aren't you bothered about earlier?" asked Ciel, nervously. "How can you ignore what happened?"

"Why would I be?" he asked as he pulled back Ciel's chair to allow him to stand up. "What you did was a mistake. You didn't mean anything. I know my Lord well enough to understand that."

A relieved sigh escaped Ciel's mouth. "Good. I didn't want you taking it the wrong way."

Ciel walked out of the room and behind him was Sebastian. They walked to his bedroom in silence. Even though Sebastian came to realize it was a mistake it was still awkward between them. Finally after walking down the long hallway, they reached Ciel's bedroom. Sebastian opened the door for him and allowed his Master to go first. Ciel obliged and walked into his room; sitting down on the bed. Then—as usual—Sebastian undressed Ciel and replaced it with his night shirt; lastly buttoning it up. He did it at the same pace. Ciel looked down at him and watched his butler with his blue eyes.

"Ever since we made the contract, it's been your duty to even button up my shirts…" mumbled Ciel as Sebastian finished and stood up. His butler took the candlelight off the small table next to Ciel's bed and walked to the door; his back towards Ciel. He opened the door and turned back to Ciel before leaving. Before he left, he bowed.

"Have pleasant dreams, my Lord. Tomorrow we'll be on a fresh new start," mumbled the butler as his red eyes stared into Ciel's. Something caught Ciel's eye as he stared into Sebastian's. What was that glint in his eyes? It looked like he had some sort of emotion. As if…he was saddened by something. It was hard to look away from the Demon's eyes. But Sebastian was the first to look away. He did so by turning away and walking out of the room with the candlelight in his hands and closing the door shut behind. A bit stunned, Ciel sat in his bed staring at the door. Why was his butler like this?


	3. His Butler, Attractive as a tutor

_He was there for me. That butler I cared for. He was there for me when my nightmares became reality… Oh how I wish I never had those nightmares. I wish I could have done something. Anything. But it's hard to control your dreams… And it's hard to control what's real, and what's not. But Sebastian…he could do anything. Except learn not to love me back… _

* * *

That night Ciel slept horribly. First, he couldn't fall asleep at all. It took half of the night to even stop thinking about Sebastian and fall asleep. But when he did fall asleep, he had a nightmare. In his nightmare he was surrounded by a fog. Screams were coming from every direction and it brought pain to his ears. Ciel searched around with wide, frightened eyes and ran through the fog; hoping to find a way out. But he just encountered more and more of the thick fog. It was like running through something that would never end. And that's exactly what he was running through. An endless fog. One filled with mysteries and horrifying things. He kept running as fast as he could, but he came to no end. The echoing screams became louder and he tripped; falling onto his knees. Sectioning both of his hands on each of his ears, he covered them and squeezed his eyes shut. No matter how much he muted the screams, he continued to hear them. He wanted it to stop. Finally the screams dyed out and there was a complete silence. His eyes opened slowly and realized someone was standing in front of him. It was a tall man wearing black trousers. He also wore a black tailcoat and Ciel realized it was the butler. His gloved hand reached down to Ciel; offering to help him up. Taking it, Ciel smiled; knowing he was safe from whatever was to happen. As soon as Ciel got to his feet, Sebastian wrapped his arms around him; holding him tightly. This shocked Ciel, considering that the butler never did this. As his butler held him, he spotted something at the corner of his eye. Something sharp was flying towards them! Before he could warn Sebastian of the object heading towards them, he widened his eyes as he watched the object slice through the side of Sebastian's stomach. Blood splattered all over Ciel and he felt the butlers grip around Ciel loosen as he fell to his knees. Ciel's eyes widened in horror and gazed into the butler's eyes. He opened his mouth as if he was saying something, but Ciel couldn't hear. It was silent. Everything. The blood leaked around his boots and Ciel covered his mouth to keep him from puking. Not wanting to see anymore, he forced himself to wake up. And instantly he sat up in his bed with wide eyes full of fear; shouting.

"Sebastian!"  
And in an instant, Sebastian came barging through the door; his red eyes looking in Ciel's direction. Ciel must have looked dreadful because Sebastian rushed to his side and knelt by his bed; his eyes full of concern.

"Bocchan; what's the matter?"

"I-it's nothing to be worried about," mumbled Ciel as he rubbed his right eye. "I-I just had a silly nightmare."

I see…what was it about, if I may ask?"

Lowering his gaze, Ciel replied, "Nothing important. Nightmares are silly…"

"Try not to be so gloomy," murmured Sebastian as he stood up with the candle light in his left hand. "Nightmares are mere illusions of someone's fears."

Knowing the butler was right; Ciel nodded and sighed as he glanced out the window. Sunrise was coming and the sky was beautiful at this time in the morning. But for some reason, Ciel knew things were about to change. Sebastian walked to the door and put out the candle light.

"Allow me to bring you some warm milk, my Lord." Sebastian walked out of the room.

Ciel stared at the closed door blankly. When Sebastian came to Ciel's room in such a hurry, it was as if he were actually worried. Why? And why did his butler have traces of concern in his eyes? Was he really that worried for something silly? Ciel felt strange every time he saw Sebastian. What was going on between the two? Finally Sebastian returned with a warm cup of milk in his hands. He put it on the table next to Ciel's bed and bowed.

"Do get back to sleep," he said as he walked to the door with his back to Ciel. "I shall wake you at ten."

Before Sebastian could leave, Ciel widened his eyes and shook his head. "D-don't leave!"

Looking surprised, Sebastian turned back around to Ciel. It was a mistake to tell him that. But Ciel didn't want him to leave his sight. What if that was to happen to Sebastian? His nightmare had brought him to tears almost because the thought of losing his butler scared him.

"I-I order you…to stay by my side until I sleep… From then on, I still order you to stay by my side…" he said as he looked into his butler's eyes.

There was a few seconds of silence before Sebastian smiled and bowed. "Yes, my Lord."

He stood by his Master's bed. But that wasn't what Ciel wanted. He wanted Sebastian in the bed with him where he could relax more. But that would be going too far, wouldn't it? As he laid down, he looked up into his butler's eyes. They were red, but looked somewhat different. Not concerned, but somewhat emotional. Why did his butler have such saddened yet mysterious eyes? As Ciel closed his eyes, he found it easier falling asleep with his butler beside him. And this time there was not a single nightmare, but dreams for once in his life.

* * *

The sun shined brightly through the window in his study. Ciel yawned and rubbed his eyes. It was already one 'o' clock and he began to get bored. How dreadful it was to work on his studies. It was definitely boring. All the paperwork in front of him. Sebastian was supposed to tutor him today as well. How fun that was going to be. Sebastian finally walked in the room with his teaching stick and in his tutoring outfit. He always had to "fit the part" not to mention, "look the part". But as Ciel gazed at his butler, he found him somewhat attractive. Never before did he enjoy seeing his butler looking the part. As Sebastian adjusted his spectacles, he hand Ciel paperwork.

"Today, since Madam Bright is unavailable, I shall teach you your studies."

"What a bore!" complained Ciel; still gazing at his butler.

"Do you find it more interesting to stare at me, bocchan?" asked Sebastian, smirking.

Immediately turning red, Ciel sat up straight and shook his head. "No. I just wondered why you were wearing such a boring outfit."

"Oh, really?" Sebastian pointed to the paperwork using the stick. "Do begin your work. Afterwards, I shall teach you your history lesson."

Ciel finished his paperwork quickly just to get it over with. And now Sebastian was teaching him his history lesson. He was pointing the teaching staff at the map on he hung up on the wall. His red eyes glared through his spectacles as he glanced at Ciel then back at the map explaining. But Ciel wasn't listening. Instead he was thinking about Sebastian and how attractive he was dressed as a tutor. Sebastian suddenly hit the teaching staff on Ciel's study desk and gazed down at him.  
"Are you paying any attention to my lesson?"

"O-of course!" snapped Ciel.

"Really now?" teased Sebastian, "I could have sworn you were looking at my body rather than the map and my lesson."

Ciel blushed a bright red and looked away. He was looking at the body. And he didn't want to be bored any longer. "This is just so boring, Sebastian. I want to do something fun."

"What would you consider fun, my Lord?" asked Sebastian. "Did you have anything in mind?"

Ciel looked up at Sebastian. He did have an idea in mind suddenly. And unlike before, he wanted it. He was willing to do it this time. But would Sebastian want this?


	4. His Butler, Acting as if he cares

_I've never felt this way about someone before. It's hard to believe I actually had feelings for him at first. But now…I feel empty. I never thought about anything. Just Sebastian. Why did I feel this way to my butler? Who knew? It was wrong to love a man. It was wrong to love someone who was going to take my soul. To think I just wanted him by my side to help me get revenge. _

* * *

As Ciel waited for his butler's return, he played with the pen on his desk. And by playing, it meant tapping his pen loudly and impatiently. His butler would return shortly, as Ciel already knew. But for some reason, he wasn't patient. He was being too impatient at the time. Was it the eagerness that made him this impatient? Or was it something else? Perhaps it was nothing and he was just being impatient. But the seconds that passed by felt like minutes, and the minutes that passed by felt like several minutes. How long did it take for Sebastian to do one simple task? As he waited, he continued to tap the tip of his pen on the desk, but slowly. It bothered him. The feelings he harvested for his butler. He was the Earl; he shouldn't have felt such feelings. Especially when this Demon was going to take his soul one day. Love couldn't last between the two beings. A Human and Demon. Just impossible. Or…was it? Ciel shook the thought out of his head. How could he think such? Clearly he was an even bigger fool for thinking that. But the feelings he felt for Sebastian… Surely they meant something. The door to his study opened, and in came the butler. Finally he was here.

"About bloody time!" hissed Ciel. "It felt like ages!"

A smirk formed across the butler's face. "I've only been gone for approximately ten minutes, my Lord. Were you that eager to see me again?"

Ciel sensed the challenge in the butler's statement, and he narrowed his eyes. "You make your Lord wait ten full minutes? Even after the treatment he's been giving you?"

"Of course not, young Master. But why are you so bothered by my little joke?" he pressed.

"S-shut up!" snapped Ciel, clearly annoyed of his butler's jokes.

The butler walked over to the front of Ciel's desk, leaning down by his head and gazing into his blue eye. "Are you upset about my teasing's?"

"N-no."

"Then you find them annoying?"

"Be quiet!"

Ciel looked away; his left blue eye glaring at the wall. He was in no mood for this butler's games. Annoying much? Definitely yes. He didn't want to see the butler anymore. But to his surprise, he felt the butler cup his cheeks and turn his head back. Before Ciel could complain and whine, he felt his butler's lips press again his own. The butler kissed Ciel passionately. At first, Ciel didn't know how to react. And to his own surprise, he found himself enjoying the kiss. In an instant, he wrapped his arms around the butler's neck and began kissing back just as passionately. He didn't want to break away from the kiss, and the butler must have sensed it, because he didn't pull away. The arms around Sebastian's neck tightened and slowly, their lips parted from each other. Ciel panted, trying to catch his breath from the long kiss. He wanted to continue kissing his butler, but his eyes were glazed with exhaustion. He was tired. Very tired. It was impossible to keep his eyes open. The nightmares from the night before had kept him awake and now he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. Sebastian must've noticed because he pulled away and walked over to behind Ciel's chair. He pulled his chair back and picked up his Master in both arms.

"Didn't get enough sleep, eh?"

Ciel shook his head and shoved his face into the crook of Sebastian's neck; still panting. He didn't feel like responding. He just wanted to sleep finally. Nothing more. Sebastian walked out of his study, turning off the light and closing the door. After that, he began walking down the hall to Ciel's room. Ciel's breathing finally became steady again and he looked up at the butler. This Demon seemed to care so much for him. But did he really? Could Sebastian care for a Human such as Ciel? Finally the butler reached Ciel's room, and took hold of the doorknob and turned it; opening the door. He walked in and sat Ciel on the bed. He began undressing Ciel slowly, starting with the accessories—such as the shoes, socks, and his eye patch—and then moved onto his shirt; unbuttoning it in a quick pace. As soon as he finished undressing his Master, he put Ciel's arms through the sleeves of his night shirt and buttoned it up. When he was done dressing his Master, Ciel collapsed onto the bed, his eyes slightly closing. The butler stood up and covered his Master up. But when he began to leave, Ciel called out to his butler.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to make preparations for tomorrow," replied Sebastian.

"No. You are going to stay here."

Sebastian bowed, saying, "Yes, my Lord." He stood by Ciel's beside; gazing down at him with his crimson eyes. Not satisfied, Ciel scooted over a little bit.

"Lay down," ordered Ciel.

The butler's eyes widened in surprise. "Lay down?" he repeated.

"Yes," replied Ciel. "You are sleeping with me tonight. It's considered a luxury for you, is it not?"

"It is…but…"

"Then you're sleeping here. It's an order."

For the first few seconds, Sebastian was shocked. But then, the same old smirk formed across his face and he bowed. "Yes, my Lord." He pulled off his tailcoat and hung it over a leather chair. The butler then crawled into the bed beside his Master and sat against the bed frame, pulling his Master into his lap. Ciel rested his head on the butlers' chest, closing his eyes. "Are you fine with me sleeping with you?"

"I-I said it's an order, didn't I?" yawned Ciel; rubbing his eyes.

"You did."

"Then don't question it."

"As you wish," murmured the butler.

Ciel kept his eyes closed; falling asleep to the sound of the butler's heartbeat. He chuckled lightly. A Demon having a heartbeat. What a sick joke that was. A Demon couldn't have a heartbeat, right?

* * *

His eyes blinked open slowly. The curtains were closed, so no sunlight had come through the window. His blue eyes glanced around the room, remembering the previous night. Unlike the other night, he had slept more peacefully without any dreams or nightmares. He noticed he was still sleeping sprawled across the butler's chest. He looked up and a smile formed across his face. For the first time in his life, he saw his butler sleeping peacefully. Sebastian's eyes were closed and he didn't look the slightest bit evil. Almost like a Human… Suddenly he felt the butler move slightly; he was waking up. Ciel continued staring up at him as Sebastian's eyes flickered open. He looked down at Ciel and they made eye contact. And when they did, Ciel caught a glimpse of happiness in his butler's blood red eyes. It startled him, but he didn't react to it. Instead, he was thinking about giving his butler a kiss. He wanted one, but what if his butler didn't really like him? Those thoughts made him decide on waiting. If his butler truly had feelings for Ciel, he would give him a kiss. And as if Sebastian read his mind, he leaned down and kissed Ciel softly; pulling away right after.

"Good morning, my Lord."

"G-good morning," responded Ciel.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes…"

"Good," replied Sebastian, stretching his arms slightly. "I wouldn't want poor health for my young Master."

"Sebastian."

"Yes, my Lord?" he asked.

"From now on, when we are alone, call me by my first name," said Ciel, gazing into his butler's eyes. "That is an order."

Suddenly, a faint smile appeared across the butler's face. For the first time, it was a real smile. One filled with happiness rather than it being a devious one. And—that too—startled Ciel.

"Yes, Ciel," he murmured, kissing his Master again as he used Ciel's name for the first time.


	5. His Butler, Once again not loved

_I always cared. About almost everything. I care about my status, about my work and especially about everyone's impression of me. But there was a few things I didn't care about: my butler's feelings. I should have but I didn't. Why should I have cared? The answer to that question is a secret._

* * *

Days have passed. Ciel kept his daily schedule still. The butler continued with the same old daily routine. They were the same old Master and Butler. Nothing about that fact changed one bit. As the servants saw a regular relationship, they had a secret affair, somewhat. They did not know of the times Ciel and Sebastian would kiss and Ciel didn't want them to ever know that. Would they see Ciel as the same old strong Lord? Or would they consider him something different because of the foolish things he was doing? Ciel sat in his study playing with his pen as he thought about Sebastian. Why was the butler in his mind always? This was all because of the stupid reapers' dare he thought about Sebastian always. It was his fault they kissed and his fault Ciel had to hide this secret. But Ciel had to admit that he was glad for the reapers dare. Pushing his chair back, Ciel stood up and walked to the door. Maybe he needed fresh air to concentrate again. Waking out the door, he glanced around the hallway. No sign of anyone. He walked down the steps and to the large doors before him. As he pushed them open, he felt a presence behind him.

"Young Master?"

The voice made Ciel turn around quickly. The clad black butler stood before him. And as always, he was by his Master's side. Sighing, Ciel closed his eyes.

"What is it?"

"Have you finished with your paperwork yet" asked Sebastian.

"No," replied Ciel.

"And where are you going?"

"Outside," replied Ciel, once again. "I'll finish the paperwork when I return, Sebastian."

"Shall I accompany you?"

"Do whatever you want. I just need to go out and get some fresh air," muttered Ciel as he pushed the doors open all the way.

He began walking down the steps and gazed around the outside world. It was rare when he could just relax and do what he wished. Being an Earl was truly a difficult task for a thirteen year old boy. It had gotten chilly and Ciel rubbed his arms, but looked up; startled. Someone draped a coat over his shoulders. Ciel looked over his shoulder and at the butler who walked beside him.

"You shouldn't be walking out in cold weather, my Lord. I don't need you getting sick."

"I guess…" Ciel shrugged as he kept walking.

"Of course my young Master wouldn't care," continued Sebastian. "He never worries, since he has a faithful butler who will do anything to protect him."

That was, of course, the whole reason Sebastian was his butler. He would protect him no matter what just to obtain that soul of his. There was no way the butler could have held any feelings for Ciel. Preposterous! Why would a Demon—specifically, Sebastian—have feelings for their meal? Only a huge fool would believe a Demon could develop feelings. Quite sad, frankly. But Ciel couldn't help but wish the butler had feelings for him. Was it because he—the Earl Phantomhive—developed feelings for a certain butler? As they continued walking through the forest, Ciel sensed the butler looking at him. Slowly, he glanced over his shoulder at Sebastian.

"What is it?"

"What do you mean, my Lord?"

"I know your staring at me. I want to know why," said Ciel as he stopped walking and faced the butler. "Just because I kissed you doesn't give you the privilege to stare at me like some pervert!"

At first, Sebastian looked startled at his Master's harsh words. But then a smirk came upon his face and he let out a silent laugh. For some reason, he found what Ciel said funny.

"What's so funny?" demanded Ciel.

"I'm a pervert, you say. Call me what you wish; you know nothing could hurt me," said Sebastian. "If hurting my feelings is what you wish to do, I expect you to try much harder—"

"Hurt you?" demanded Ciel; outraged. "Why would I—of all people, Sebastian—hurt your feelings? You know how much I care for you!"

Both of them were startled. The butler's eyes had widened and now he was staring at Ciel. Even Ciel was startled at what he said. How could he say that to him? Sure, they kissed more than a few times, but Ciel never told him he loved the butler. Not even that he liked him. How could he tell him directly, that he cared for him? The second the butler opened his mouth, Ciel ran from him and through the forest; cheeks red with embarrassment as the coat fell from his shoulders. Could anything worse happen? At that same moment, Ciel bumped into someone and stumbled back. He rubbed his head and looked up to see the fool who dared to step in his way. To his surprise, it was the Undertaker. What the Hell was he doing in the forest near the Phantomhive manor?

Ciel stood up and brushed himself off. "What in the bloody Hell are you doing here?"

The Undertaker laughed. "Of course to see what you and the butler were up to."

"W-what do you mean?" asked Ciel, uneasily. "We're doing the same thing we do every day—"

"Kissing and being love birds in the Phantomhive manor?" challenged the Undertaker. "Isn't that right; Earl Phantomhive?"

Ciel turned a bright red and didn't know how to respond. "I-I don't know what you're talking about! He's my butler for god's sake—"

"You can't lie to me, Earl." The Undertaker turned away. "I haven't come here to tease you. I came here to see you make the biggest mistake that has yet to come."

"What do you mean?" demanded Ciel.

"I mean exactly what I say, young Earl." Walking away, Undertaker spoke more, "Love is simple to experience, yet hard to understand. You know what you feel, yet you don't admit it. One day, you'll lose the thing most precious to you, and you won't even get a second chance to change it. It's as you say, young Earl, '_Once you've lost something, you never get it back'_."

Leaving Ciel behind with a shocked look on his face, he stared into the trees filled with darkness. What did the funeral director exactly mean by that? _Once you've lost something, you never get it back_. That was what Ciel had said before, and now it had some sort of meaning to it once more? _'One day, you'll lose the thing most precious to you, and you won't even get a second chance to change it'_; what does that mean? The Undertaker left Ciel confused. Suddenly something pushed past the trees and walked up to Ciel. The black clad butler stood before him.

"You ran off, suddenly, my Lord. You could have gotten hurt if you're not careful," said Sebastian as he examined Ciel from a distance. "You're fine, which is indeed good."

Ciel didn't respond. The Undertaker's words had him thinking carefully. Something most precious to him? Biggest mistake of his life? What was he trying to say?

"Bocchan?"

"What?" Ciel looked up and gazed into the butler's eyes.

"Let me get you home. You'll freeze out here," murmured the butler as draped the black coat back Ciel dropped over his Master's shoulders. "When we return, I shall prepare a cup of warm milk."

But Ciel turned around and wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck as he stood on his toes. His lips pressed against the butler's and they stood there for a few seconds; kissing. Finally, Ciel parted his lips from the butler's and lowered his gaze.

"…Sebastian, I have to tell you something. I…" whispered Ciel as he looked up into the butler's eyes. The butler's eyes had lit up and waited longingly for what he had to say. He was about to admit his feelings for him, but suddenly Ciel felt his heart beat fast and he spoke quickly without thinking. "I-I will take supper in my study tonight!"

He pulled away and began walking but slowly glanced over his shoulder and into his butler's eyes to see how he reacted. His eyes were darkened and he didn't look happy at all. Not even like he was a few minutes ago. Instead of his red eyes being malicious, they were filled with sorrow. Ciel couldn't help but widen his eyes and looked back in front of him. Did his butler really expect something else? And why did he look sad? Sighing, Ciel didn't know what to do…or think…anymore.

* * *

I'm glad a few of you like this story. ^^ There's going to be more, but I can't promise any lemons or anything like that for a while. But soon enough.


	6. His Butler, Disappeared

_Is it true that the only way to prove your love for someone is by making a sacrifice that could kill you? It looks that way, sometimes… If you think about it. But I never imagined myself dying for the one I loved. Elizabeth, of course I would, but why not Sebastian? I did love him…but not enough to sacrifice my own life, right? I mean…I have no reason, until now._

* * *

Finally, it was December. Two months officially passed, yet the affair between Ciel and Sebastian stopped. Ciel acted as though he didn't want to see Sebastian anymore. But in full honesty, he wanted to be with Sebastian more than anything. He wanted to kiss Sebastian for as long as he could. But in the end, they wouldn't be together. It was impossible for a Demon and Human to be together. Especially when they had contract together. And the deal was that when Ciel got his revenge, his soul would be taken. How could love last like that? Anyway, it wasn't like Ciel had anything to live for. Sure he had Elizabeth, but Ciel didn't really want her as a fiancé; he was forced, of course. Looking out the window in his study, there was a knock on the door. Without glancing over his shoulder, Ciel spoke from where he stood; still facing the large window.

"Come in."

He heard the door open and close quietly. He already knew it was his butler. "It seems Lady Elizabeth will be coming today. She sent a letter over this morning."

"At least she sent a letter. I don't like it when she comes here without giving me any notice," mumbled Ciel as he sat in his chair; not looking at Sebastian in the eye.

"You've been acting strange ever since we went for that walk two months ago," murmured Sebastian, tilting his head slightly as his red eyes looked at Ciel. "Why is that? Did something happen that day that I don't know about?"

"Nothing happened. And I've always been like this. I am the Earl Phantomhive and I don't need to tell you anything!"

Sebastian didn't respond. Only his red eyes gazed at Ciel who still didn't even look at him once. Finding it utterly annoying that the butler stood there, Ciel narrowed his eyes at Sebastian; pointing at the door.

"Leave this instant! You have things to do; stop being a pervert!" snapped Ciel.

Looking speechless, Sebastian turned away with an evil glare and walked out the door; closing it shut. Ciel bit his lip hard and gazed at the door. What was that look on Sebastian's face? It didn't look very nice. What he said probably got to the butler and Ciel regretted those words that came out of his mouth. He didn't mean for it. Like always, something came out of his mouth and he didn't even think about what he was saying until he let it all out. Sighing, Ciel rested his chin on his knuckles and continued thinking about what he said. Is it possible that those harsh words hurt the butler? No; Ciel wouldn't believe it. Demon's didn't have feelings. And Sebastian wouldn't have any feelings either.

* * *

Hours passed and Ciel was stacking cards on his desk slowly and carefully. Yes, he's done this many, many times, but when he had nothing better to do, he would stack cards. There were no plans for the day after all. Using all of his concentration, Ciel began stacking two more cards on top of the others when the door swung open; creating a loud noise. Because of that, Ciel lost his concentration and when he tried putting the cards on top, they all fell onto his desk.

"Ciel!" squealed a high pitched voice.

Looking up immediately to see what caused him to lose his concentration, he suddenly realized who's high pitched voice that was. And before he knew it, his fiancé—Lizzie—was by his side and hugging him tightly. Her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck; almost choking him to death. Finally she let go of him and he gasped for breath; looking at her. Like usual, she wore a pink frilly dress with a matching bonnet. Her green eyes were wide and they brightened with happiness.

"L-Lizzie!" coughed Ciel. "T-try not to hug me like that. You almost killed me!"

"I'm sorry, Ciel!" said Lizzie as she smiled. "I haven't seen you in so long! I missed you!"

"It hasn't been that long…" mumbled Ciel as he stood up.

For some reason, Sebastian wasn't here. He couldn't have let Elizabeth in without showing her to Ciel's room like a proper butler. As a butler, he would never do that. Ciel knew that for a fact. Sighing, Ciel looked at Elizabeth.

"Is Auntie here?" he asked.

Elizabeth shook her head; her blond hair bouncing. "No, I wanted to see my fiancé alone!"

"I see…" Ciel nodded and headed for the door; opening it for Elizabeth.

She giggled and walked out first, with Ciel following behind. They walked down the hall together and Elizabeth seemed quiet. Why was she quiet suddenly? Did something surprise her? As Ciel kept walking beside her, she looked around the hallway with her green eyes that were now filled with curiosity. They slowed their pace and she finally looked at Ciel.

"Um, Ciel?"

"What is it, Lizzie?"

She gave a quick glance behind them before looking at Ciel again. "Where is your butler; Sebastian? He's usually stuck to you like a shadow."

"I wanted space from him," muttered Ciel as they kept walking.

"Is he on his day off?" asked Lizzie.

"Of course he isn't. He's working right now."

"Oh…I wonder what he's doing. I haven't seen him at all. Not even a greeting from him when I arrived…" murmured Lizzie.

After hearing what Lizzie said, Ciel stopped walking. He didn't open the door for her? Who opened the door, then? Ciel turned to his fiancé with a serious gaze.

"Who answered the door?" he demanded.

"Uh…Tanaka," said Lizzie, thinking.

Immediately, Ciel ran down the hall, leaving his fiancé behind and raced down the stairs of the Phantomhive manor. It had been hours since he last spoke to the butler. He admitted; his eye with the contract seal felt like it was burning but he did his best to hide it. Why was it burning, though? Did it have to do something with Sebastian not being at the manor? The butler was supposed to do everything, not Tanaka. And only the servants would know of his disappearance. He continued running down the stairs and to the servant's quarters. The reason he was worried was because earlier he made the butler upset. And just like that, he could take away the contract that held them together. Ciel felt his heart beat fast at the thought of losing his butler. He prayed Sebastian didn't leave him.


	7. His Butler, Wanting more

Sebastian. My butler, whom I never thought would leave me, had disappeared from my eyes. I never wanted to see a day when that happened. Was it because I would die without him? Or was it because I would be in pain without him? My love for him had grown so strong. I regretted every single thing I said to him. I never meant a word I said to him. My heart spoke differently, though my stupid mind didn't want to admit it. A Demon could develop feelings over time, yet I never realized it.

Eyes wide with fear, Ciel ran to the servants quarters. Surely they would know of Sebastian and where he went. Maybe even Tanaka. Ciel felt like an idiot for not realizing sooner. How could he do this to his own butler? Finally he reached the servant's quarters and swung the door wide open; looking around the room. Mey-Rin was by Bard and looked over at Ciel. Finny, was of course looking out the window and Tanaka was drinking tea.

"Bard!" said Ciel. "Where in the Hell is Sebastian?"

"Uh, come to think of it, he hasn't been here since the morning. But he didn't look too happy," recalled Bard as he thought carefully. "I was surprised… Mister Sebastian looked…hurt. Like he was in pain."

Pain?

"Yes, in pain; not physically, but emotionally, yes that pain," agreed Mey-Rin as if she remembered.

His heart stopped. The feeling of regret came over Ciel and he lowered his head. Did the butler feel hurt after all? How could he—the one who loved him—hurt the butler? Ciel had said many harsh things before, but this must have been the limit to what he said.

"If I remember correctly, young Master, I believe he said he was going for a walk…" Finny looked over his shoulder and at Ciel. "I saw him before he left and he headed into the forest."

"The fool!" snapped Ciel as he ran out of the room. But before he could run any farther, someone took hold of his hand and Ciel looked over his shoulder. It was Bard.

"What? Unhand me!" snapped Ciel; struggling to pull his hand free.

"Have you ever thought of the butler's feelings?" he asked.

Ciel stopped struggling and looked up. "His feelings?"

Bard sighed. "I guess not. As an Earl should. But the butler…he looked heart-broken, young Master. Maybe something happened."

Biting his lip, Ciel slapped Bards hand away and ran out of the room. The one he loved was the one he hurt the most. He ran to the entrance of the Phantomhive and out the door. His eyes widened as he watched snow fall from the gray sky. That's right; it was December. How could Ciel found the butler in this weather? Not giving a care about that, he ran down the steps and looked around. Everything was white. Barely any color. But Ciel caught a glimpse of the forest now filled with white snow. He rubbed his arms and ran to the forest. Surely he would find the butler soon. It was hard to run through the snow with the shoes he wore, but he did his best to get to the forest quickly. And when he reached it, he treaded in the snow; still glancing around for the black clad butler. But as more snow fell, it became thicker and heavier; making it hard to see. Ciel walked for a bit before feeling cold and he shivered as he looked around; his one blue eye filled with hope on finding the butler. But soon he felt weak and numb. Falling to his knees, Ciel's breathing became unsteady. White surrounded him and there was no sign of the butler. There would never again be sign of the butler. As his eyes began to blur, Ciel felt onto the icy cold snow; laying there for countless moments, thinking about the butler he'd never see again.

"My goodness," murmured a voice as if it was inside his head.

No response came from Ciel as his eyes began to close. Warmth surrounded him and he felt someone embracing him.

"S-Sebas…S-Sebastian…" whispered Ciel as his eyes finally closed; darkness surrounding him.

* * *

He didn't know for how long he passed out for, but he slowly he blinked open his eyes. The darkness that had once overcome his mind was now gone and replaced by a dimmed light. Slowly, he glanced over at the sound of cracking; fire was burning in the fireplace. Sitting up, Ciel rubbed his head and looked around. The whole time Ciel was passed out for he thought of Sebastian. Memories had flashed through his mind like a cinematic record. Ciel placed his hand over his right eye and gazed at the bright fire that lit up the whole room. His eye patch was off and he was wearing his night shirt. It was dark outside, but the room was lit and warm. Who found him and did all this?

"Ah, you're awake."

Glancing over by the door, he saw Sebastian standing there with a frown on his face. The butler. When did he return?

"Where were you?"

"I went for a walk. But I didn't think you'd try and find me," mumbled Sebastian as he walked over to Ciel's bedside. "You were freezing. I was quite shocked you even tried."

"I tried because you were supposed to be here working!" snapped Ciel.

Suddenly, the same smirk Sebastian always had formed across his face. "As expected of my Master. But, I wish you would've taken your coat, my Lord. You could have gotten an asthma attack."

"As if you care," mumbled Ciel as he lowered his head.

But Ciel was surprised at the butler; taking Ciel's chin in his hand, he kissed him passionately. At first his eyes were widened, but Ciel kissed his butler back. It had been so long since he had kissed the butler.

"I do care, bocchan."

Ciel turned red and his eyes looked away. "…You're a Demon."

"Does that really matter, my Lord?"

"Yes—" began Ciel before he was cut off again by Sebastian's kiss.

"Shhhh, my Lord. Let's enjoy this night, yes?"

Eyes wide, Ciel watched as Sebastian pushed him down onto the bed; kissing him again, but not breaking this kiss at all. It felt strange and Ciel's cheeks turned red. As if Sebastian noticed, he pulled away and got off the bed.

"I apologize, my Lord. I keep forgetting that our feelings are different for each other," said Sebastian as he began to pull on his tailcoat. But Ciel took his hand and pulled him onto the bed; sitting the butler against the bed frame. He then crawled on the butler's lap and kissed him roughly; not wanting to break away. But he did so to take a deep breath.

"I _do_ feel the same. And I _do_want this," he told the butler.

"Tomorrow's your birthday, bocchan," murmured Sebastian as he kissed him again. "I wanted to make tonight special for my little Lord."

"You don't have to call me that when we're alone," said Ciel. "Call me by my first name, from now on when we're alone. That's an order."

The butler smirked. "Yes…Ciel."

"Now…where were we?" asked Ciel as he played with Sebastian's vest shyly.

"I believe we were about to make love into the night," replied Sebastian.

He leaned forward and kissed Ciel; sliding his hands around Ciel's waist. The butler kissed down from his lips to Ciel's neck and began kissing in the same spot on it. Ciel lifted his head up in satisfaction with his eyes closed. Never before did he experience this. But it was definitely wrong for a butler and Master to do this….yet…it felt so right and good.


	8. His Butler, Not cared for

_I never really told him I loved him. I wish I did. Maybe that would've changed everything. Maybe it would have been different. Sadly, I didn't realize such a small mistake could create such a fate. I remember, long ago, I said if I were to die…I'd want to die without regrets… But even then, I lied to myself. Because I'm going to die with many regrets stuck with me. I just don't understand…anything…anymore…_

* * *

All this happened on his birthday. Ciel woke up nude with a thin sheet covering his body. His bed? A mess. All the blankets were wrinkled and tossed. Even Ciel's hair was tangled more than usual. His night shirt was on the floor; scattered among Sebastian's clothing. Suddenly realizing what he did the night before, he felt the arms embracing him tighten. He slowly glanced up and saw the butler sleeping against the bed frame with Ciel in his lap. The butler—too—was nude and Ciel began blushing. He was against the butler's hot body. And at the same moment he was about to kiss the sleeping butler, there was knocking on the door.

"Master Ciel," called a voice that belonged to Mey-Rin as the doorknob twisted and turned; the door opening slowly.

Immediately, the butler woke up and got out of bed; pushing Ciel gently off him. He ran to the door and closed it shut. Mey-Rin let out a startled gasp from the other side of the door and tried opening it again. She probably didn't even know Sebastian was in the room.

"Master Ciel?!" she shouted; banging on the door.

"Mey-Rin," said Sebastian; keeping the door shut. "I am changing the young Master. Right now isn't an appropriate time!"

Suddenly the banging stopped. "O-oh I'm sorry. P-please forgive me!"

"You may go," said Sebastian as he walked over to clothes scattered on the floor. Quickly, he pulled on his pants and zipped them up. He then pulled on his vest and tie, and lastly, his tailcoat. He pulled on his shoes and gloves afterwards. Then he walked over to Ciel's wardrobe; pulling out an outfit for the day. Ciel had stayed quiet as the butler walked back over to Ciel. He began putting on Ciel's pants and buttoning his shirt. Lastly, the accessories—such as the ring—and his shoes. He took the comb out and brushed Ciel's tangled hair; being as gentle as possible. Ciel bit his lip to keep from saying how much it hurt. Finally, he spoke, "Bocchan, I apologize. I know this hurts you, but I thank you for being strong at the moment."

"I-its fine," stuttered Ciel.

He finished combing his Master's hair in silence. Finally, he finished and he put the comb away; walking to the night shirt among the floor. Ciel looked at the butler. How could the butler act like nothing happened the night before? Even Ciel was stunned about it. Just as he was about to speak, the butler spoke as he put away the night shirt inside the wardrobe.

"You must be thinking how I can be calm about what happened last night. How I could act like we did nothing, am I correct?"

"Yes."

"It's quite simple, young Master," said Sebastian as he walked to the door. "You don't like what happened… And you don't want anyone to know. It embarrasses you, doesn't it? To even have fallen in love with a Demon such as myself?"

When Ciel looked away without responding, the butler didn't say anything else. He walked out of the room; leaving his Master all alone on the bed.

* * *

Ciel had been told Lizzie left home safely the night before. But Ciel didn't care about that. He wanted to be with the butler more than anything. But it wasn't possible for them to be. First off; they were both men. More like, one man and one teenage boy. Secondly; Sebastian was way too old for Ciel. By centuries. Thirdly; no one would accept it. They would hate Ciel and possibly try and get rid of Sebastian from his life. And lastly; he was the Demon's meal. How could love last like that? As he continued thinking, there was tapping at his window. He quickly glanced over his shoulder in his study and saw a note attached to his window. It was written horribly and Ciel could barely make out the words. But he made them out:

_To the brat of the Phantomhive,_

_We have something precious of yours. It is your decision on whether or not you want to save "it". Come to the forest alone today, and maybe you'll get "it" from us. Don't bring your butler either. Directions for the forest are on the back of that paper. And DON'T tell anyone about this. It is our little secret. ~_

Staring at the note for another long moment, he didn't know what to do or think. Something precious? The only thing precious to him was Elizabeth. Was there something else? She did come the night before, and she came alone. What happens if she got kidnapped suddenly? Ciel shook his head; if it were her, he would have to go to the forest alone. He took the note and walked out of the study and into his room; grabbing the gun from underneath his pillow and looking out the window. Something precious. Without saying a word to anyone, he walked to the window and opened it; climbing out of it slowly and jumping off the ledge of it. He landed on his knees, wincing in pain. But that wouldn't make him give up. He looked at the note that was now wrinkled in his hand. He would find this person. Even if he were to almost get killed. Because he knew that Sebastian would come when he shouted his name. But little did he know what awaited him. Would this be a mistake? Hopefully not. As Ciel ventured out into the forest—far from his manor—he began to lose faith in himself. How could he get what was precious to him back? He didn't even know what was precious to him.

He kept walking through the forest; wondering who had sent this letter. By the way it was written, he could tell it wasn't someone very smart. The handwriting was way too hard to read. And how dare this person call Ciel a brat! He was an Earl. The man who wrote the letter would definitely pay for calling the Earl such an insulting name. He finally got farther and opened the crumbled piece of paper in his hand. It was more wrinkled than before, and the writing was in pen, so it smudged easily. But he could still read the directions somewhat. Arrows were pointing everywhere and it was drawn horribly. Like a five year old. What a crappy map! But Ciel could still make out where it was pointing and he glanced up as he encountered the place. But in his way were tree branches. He pushed past them and looked around. It was an area in the middle of the forest, surrounded by trees. It was a huge circle with nothing but grass in it while the trees surrounded it. Kind of looked like a battle ground.

"Here comes the brat!"

Ciel turned around and widened his eyes at the man before him. The man was dressed all in red. His hair was long; it went past his lower part of his body and was a blood-like red. Even the coat he wore was red. Ciel remembered that coat; it belonged to his Aunt. Suddenly, a chainsaw appeared from behind the man and Ciel stared; stepping back.

"Y-you!"

It was the red headed reaper. The one who gave him the dare. The one who sent him the note was the reaper who loved his butler. It was Grell Sutcliffe. "Yes, it is me; here to deliver your Death!"


	9. His Butler, Speaks his last words

_Everything happened before my eyes. I couldn't believe anything at first. And I didn't know why the reaper called me out into the forest either. Everything confused me. But this could have been stopped… Or…I could have said something to change the fate. Who knew that one thing not said could be the biggest mistake of my life?_

* * *

The red-headed reaper called Ciel out into the forest? What for, though? Was everything in that note a lie? Or was there really something precious with the stupid reaper. Not responding, Ciel froze and stared straight ahead of him at the blood-red reaper. His chainsaw was stained with years of blood from all the people he killed. More like souls he took. Grell Sutcliffe. A grim reaper. The one who took his Aunt's soul. And Jack the Ripper. This man was obsessed with the Demon butler and he would most likely do anything to get rid of the thing that stopped him from being with the butler. The note was wrinkled the more he gripped it in his hand and thunder roared high above the sky. It was about to rain soon. Any minute rain would begin falling. The reaper and Ciel stared at each other for a moment longer before one of them broke the silence.

"You…you wrote this letter," said Ciel. "Where is it?"

An evil grin formed across the reapers face. "You don't even know what is most precious to you?"

And at the same moment, the reaper pulled out his chainsaw and ran at Ciel. Widening his eyes, Ciel fell back as the reaper swung it; almost slicing through him. A gasp escaped his mouth and he stared at the reaper; rain finally falling. Grell stood up straight and glared at Ciel who began to crawl back. He was too shocked to even say anything.

"Is the brat running from me?" asked Grell as he swung his chainsaw at Ciel again.

Ciel immediately stumbled back; still on the ground, and now breathing heavily. The rain started out as a slight drizzle; making the dirt and grass beneath Ciel more slippery and wet. Ciel continued crawling back with his one wide eye staring at the reaper. Finally his back hit against a tree and he couldn't go any farther. He felt trapped. Slowly, he lifted his head up and watched as the reaper walked closer to Ciel; the death scythe in his hand. Water dripped onto Ciel's face as it was no longer a small drizzle.

"W-why did you call me out here?" demanded Ciel; finally speaking.

"Do you remember the day we gave each other dares?"

"Yes."

The reaper looked down at his death scythe. "That day…you took someone very important away from me. You were 'blessed' with the Demon who 'fell' in love with you. And now I will never have a chance with him; all because of a stupid brat who got in my way!"

He swung his death scythe, and Ciel rolled to the side immediately; making the reaper miss his attack. Was that really the reason he was called to the forest? To be killed?

"Y-you must be joking!" snapped Ciel as he got back to his feet and stood against the tree; not caring about the mud on him as the rain poured heavily down from the sky. More thunder roared and lightning flashed brightly. "The Demon may love me, but I don't love him! That's outrageous! I am the Earl Phantomhive, and I wouldn't be a disgrace by falling in love with another man!"

"Ooh, so harsh!"

"I'm being completely frank!"

Grell ran at Ciel; swinging his death scythe again. "Stupid, ungrateful brat!"

And Ciel didn't see it coming in time. He froze in place and wouldn't move. Or, more like he couldn't move. The chainsaw's blade was about to slice through him when someone shoved him aside. Ciel gasped and broke his fall by holding out his arms; landing into the mud as it splashed all over him. His one blue eye looked up to see who the Devil was that pushed him. He realized it was Sebastian. The butler had come to his rescue.

"Sebastian!"

The butler looked over and down at Ciel. "I apologize. But it was the only possible way to keep the death scythe from slicing through the both of us."  
Ciel didn't respond. Grell just smiled brightly as he saw Sebastian. Sebastian had taken Ciel's place in front of the tree and was now glaring at the reaper with his blood red eyes.

"Oh, Sebas-chan!" called Grell; shaking his hips like a girl. "I've been waiting for the night when you would die by my death scythe!"

"I'm afraid that won't happen; not tonight, not ever," said the butler.

In an instant, the reaper raised the death scythe high above his head and brought it down onto Sebastian; about to slice through him. The butler caught the blade and stopped it from slicing down on his shoulder, though it was shredding part of the tailcoat, and almost—almost—slicing through his skin. Like the time he fought Grell during the night Madam Red died. Sebastian smirked and didn't seem to worry about the death scythe.

"Do you really think you could win head on against a Demon?"

"Tell me, Sebastian; why do you protect this brat over nothing?" demanded Grell; the death scythe's blade almost touching the butler's shoulder.

As Ciel waited to see blood splatter everywhere, he answered for the butler instead. "Because we have a contract that has yet to be fulfilled. He wants my soul. That's the only reason—"

"You're wrong, kid!"

Ciel tilted his head and glanced over at Sebastian who bit his lip; struggling to keep the death scythe from cutting into his skin. It seemed what had been said bothered him.

"Sebastian…?"

"Go on, Sebas-chan; tell him the truth! I'm sure he'll seem to care!" teased the reaper; putting force onto the chainsaw.

"…Our contract has been fulfilled," said Sebastian as the death scythe's blade sliced into his shoulder. Blood splattered from his shoulder and Ciel widened his eyes; knowing the butler was weakened already. But he didn't give up; he lifted the death scythe above his shoulder again and looked over at Ciel as blood seeped through the expensive tailcoat. "I've gotten your revenge a while ago."

"Stop holding back and let me kill you!" whined Grell as he pushed harder onto the death scythe. But Sebastian continued holding the blade above his shoulder. It was a dangerous situation for the Demon. If he moved, he would be hurt. And if he stayed there for much longer, he would still be hurt. It seemed the grim reaper had powered up and was stronger than last time. But the butler would never give up.

Ciel stood up as his eye patched fell from his eye. "Why didn't you take my soul, then?"

"...Because…"

"Because why!" shouted Ciel.

The Demon pushed the death scythe back, as if he regained his strength and looked over at Ciel. "Because I can't take your soul if I love you…" Grell stumbled back while his death scythe flew into the sky and feet away from them.

Ciel opened his mouth, but no words came out. Did the butler really love him? Ciel stared into Sebastian's eyes as rain dripped and thunder roared. As lightning brightened up the sky, Ciel saw something in the corner of his eye. It was a man who looked exactly like the Undertaker, but this time, his hair no longer covered his eyes. Ciel stared shocked at the man as he realized it was the Undertaker. In his hands seemed to be what looked like a large death scythe. It looked like the one told in stories about the original grim reapers. That's when Ciel remembered that the Undertaker was a grim reaper. And suddenly, he swung the death scythe at Sebastian and the butler didn't even know of the reaper behind him.

"Sebastian!" shouted Ciel as he ran forward.

It was too late. Just as Sebastian turned around to face the Undertaker, he flew back at the force of the death scythe. The Demon's red eyes widened as the death scythe sliced through Sebastian's body; blood spilling from it as he landed on his back in the mud. When the death scythe cut through, him the butler didn't make a sound. Not even a scream of pain. The Undertaker walked up to Sebastian and smirked.

"It seems even the butler wasn't prepared for this fight."

"Get away from him!" shouted Ciel as he ran by his butler's side; grabbing his hand and holding it tightly. "Sebastian! Get up! It's an order!"

There was no response from the Demon and the Undertaker turned away. "It seems my job here is done. He was bringing misery into your life, my Lordship."  
The Undertaker disappeared as he walked into the dark forest with Grell behind him; dragging the death scythe behind him. Ciel stared at where they disappeared to, but turned back to Sebastian when he heard coughing. His blue eyes stared down at the bleeding butler. Dried blood was encrusted around his mouth and his red eyes were full of pain for once. More pain than Ciel has ever seen him in.

"B-bocchan…" he whispered as he put his gloved hand soaked with blood on Ciel's cheek. "E-even though…I may be a cold hearted Demon…I still love you…"

"Why are you saying this? You can tell me this tonight. And I thought I told you to call me Ciel when were alone," said Ciel quickly. "Get up; it's an order!"

The butler simply shook his head. "O-our contract is fulfilled… I-I'm not taking your soul…because I love you… This D-Demon's time…is up…"

"No! It's not! You—of all people—are never to leave my side!" shouted Ciel; gripping the butler's gloved hand tightly. "Y-you aren't leaving me… W-we can work t-this out… Come back to the manor, and you can have a day off. A break to help you feel better… D-don't leave me…"

"Young Master…you must face the truth…" murmured the butler as he looked into Ciel's eyes. "…You don't love me… Yet I love you… You don't care…if I die…"

"B-but—"

"Our contract...is done with… H-how can I be around the one I love…if he doesn't love me back?" asked Sebastian as he chuckled, but quickly coughed up blood. "I-I'm a disgrace…"

"S-Sebastian!" whispered Ciel as he felt his eyes water. Rain was still pouring from the sky and onto Sebastian's unmoving body. As he gazed into the Demon's crimson eyes one last time, he spotted a glint of happiness and love. Then the color from the butler's eyes faded to a dull red and his eyes were no longer filled with love or sorrow. Ciel opened his mouth and stared down at the butler who had stopped breathing. Ciel looked up at the sky that had begun to clear. "Sebastian!" he shouted as tears fell from his eyes. His butler was gone. And Sebastian didn't even know how Ciel truly felt.


	10. His Butler, No more

Fire that lit the room made a cracking sound. The sound of coal burning. Ciel hadn't heard that in a while. It had been a year since the butler's passing, and Ciel was sprawled on the couch in front of the fire. He gazed into the fireplace and remembered the butler dearly. All those thoughts entered his mind and he continued gazing into the fire.

_Ever since that day...the day we signed a contract...all we've been was a Master and his butler. I never thought of him more than I should. I ordered him around. I even called him a bastard when he teased me. People asked me from the past if I felt something for him. Anything at all. And my reply was simple: No. Never. They were bloody bastards for even considering that. But those words were lies. Lies that I've kept inside my mind ever since._

_It was all the dare… That one dare made me kiss my butler. The feelings I've felt was something I never imagined that be for him. I never felt that way towards Elizabeth either… How shocking it was to kiss my butler and…enjoy it. Those days were when I realized how I truly felt about him. But…why…?_

_He was there for me. That butler I cared for. He was there for me when my nightmares became reality… Oh how I wish I never had those nightmares. I wish I could have done something. Anything. But it's hard to control your dreams… And it's hard to control what's real, and what's not. But Sebastian…he could do anything. Except learn not to love me back…_

_It didn't take long for me to find out what I really wanted. And what I wanted was stuck inside my mind. I didn't know how to tell him. But I soon figured out how to let him know what I wanted. I had been honest with myself, and with him. I told him straight out. If only I were able to do that…always. One mistake could take away something precious. I learned that the hard way._

_I've never felt this way about someone before. It's hard to believe I actually had feelings for him at first. But now…I feel empty. I never thought about anything. Just Sebastian. Why did I feel this way to my butler? Who knew. It was wrong to love a man. It was wrong to love someone who was going to take my soul. To think I just wanted him by my side to help me get revenge._

_I always cared. About almost everything. I care about my status, about my work and especially about everyone's impression of me. But there was a few things I didn't care about: my butler's feelings. I should have but I didn't. Why should I have cared? The answer to that question is a secret._

_Is it true that the only way to prove your love for someone is by making a sacrifice that could kill you? It looks that way, sometimes… If you think about it. But I never imagined myself dying for the one I loved. Elizabeth, of course I would, but why not Sebastian? I did love him…but not enough to sacrifice my own life, right? I mean…I have no reason, until now._

_Sebastian. My butler, whom I never thought would leave me, had disappeared from my eyes. I never wanted to see a day when that happened. Was it because I would die without him? Or was it because I would be in pain without him? My love for him had grown so strong. I regretted every single thing I said to him. I never meant a word I said to him. My heart spoke differently, though my stupid mind didn't want to admit it. A Demon could develop feelings over time, yet I never realized it._

_I never really told him I loved him. I wish I did. Maybe that would've changed everything. Maybe it would have been different. Sadly, I didn't realize such a small mistake could create such a fate. I remember, long ago, I said if I were to die…I'd want to die without regrets… But even then, I lied to myself. Because I'm going to die with many regrets stuck with me. I just don't understand…anything…anymore…_

_Everything happened before my eyes. I couldn't believe anything at first. And I didn't know why the reaper called me out into the forest either. Everything confused me. But this could have been stopped… Or…I could have said something to change the fate. Who knew that one thing not said could be the biggest mistake of my life?_

_I-I never thought I could feel so empty… He's dead… Gone. It hurts to lose someone you love so dearly. And to think the biggest mistake I regret making was not telling him how I really felt. I loved him. I always did, and always will. Memories of the past echo through my mind still and I remember his last words to me. I remember the only night we made love. And I realized what the reaper meant in the letter. The most important thing was my butler. And I lost him. My one and only true love._

There was a knock at the door and Ciel sat up; looking at the servant who entered the room. It was a tall man by the age of twenty dressed in a tailcoat. He bowed at the door; his black hair pulled back like Ciel ordered.

"Master, it is time we take our leave," murmured the butler.

"I understand. Now go, James," ordered Ciel.

The butler nodded and left the room; leaving Ciel alone. Ciel stood up and walked over to the door opening it. His new butler was Oliver James, as his previous butler was Sebastian Michaelis. But he called the butler by his last name, as any Earl would. And James was never allowed to call Ciel by his name, or even young Master. Because only Sebastian was allowed to call him that. The butler who saved him and the butler who would want Ciel to live a long life as a Human. The butler who showed him love, and the one who taught him how to love. He took one last glance at the room before leaving and shutting the door; never to open it again.

"Once you've lost something…you never get it back," came Ciel's whisper that echoed throughout the hall.

_The end_

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**Okay, I've been getting some questions if this story is going to be continued. As in, a sequel of course. So here is my question for you:**

**Should I write a sequel to Forbidden love?**


	11. His Butler, Gentle with his Master(Smut)

A/N: A small smut scene from earlier in the chapters. It's after the chapter, "His Butler, Wanting more". Please enjoy and remember that this is my /first/ smut so it may not be good at all.

So if you don't LIKE smut, please ignore this chapter. This is a /warning/ about the current chapter.

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Tossing aside the black tie onto the floor beside the bed, Ciel kissed Sebastian deeply; having his arms wrapped tightly around his neck. Forcefully, he slipped his tongue into the butler's mouth, entangling it with his. The arms around his waist tightened as they continued to kiss each other with a passion. Tugging at the butler's vest again, Ciel whimpered pleadingly; wanting Sebastian to take it all off finally. Noticing his Master's eagerness and desires, Sebastian parted his lips from Ciel's; a string of saliva connecting their lips. Ciel wiped his mouth using the back of his hand and panted heavily; staring at his lover lustfully. Shifting uncomfortably in Sebastian's lap, he glanced down only to notice a bulge in his pants. Sebastian leaned; pressing his lips against Ciel's, murmuring.  
"I have a little task for you," he placed a kiss onto his neck, a smirk forming across his face.

"A-a task?" repeated Ciel quietly, staring at the butler.

He nodded and unzipped his pants. Ciel swallowed as he stared wide-eyed at the painfully large cock. It was throbbing needingly; desiring to be satisfied. Sebastian motioned to the large member and Ciel obeyed, crawling back over to him. Sebastian switched his position and sat onto his knees, taking hold of Ciel's chin into his hands as the smirk grew.

"Frightened?" he teased, lowering his head by his neck and kissing his collarbone lightly.

Ciel nodded hesitantly, breathing heavily as the Demon's lips pressed to his neck. The warm pair of lips began sucking gently; nipping lightly every once in a while. Ciel closed his eyes in pleasure as a few moans escaped his mouth. "S-Sebastian…"

After moments of being pleased with warm kisses and light nips, Sebastian pulled away and motioned back to the lonely member. Ciel felt his hand lead him down by the very tip, not knowing what to do. His eyes were glazed with many traces of uneasiness as he stared at the throbbing member; needy for pleasure.

"It's not that hard, Ciel," spoke the Demon, smirking as he rested a hand upon the boy's cheeks where a dark blush had formed. "All you have to do is use that tongue of yours."

Nodding reluctantly, he opened his mouth as wide as he could, though it wasn't enough to all of it in. Barely half of it. Sebastian watched the boy as he took part of Sebastian's cock into the small hole; swirling his tongue around the tip, taking the base of the member in the both of his small hands. His gaze flickered upward at the butler as he began sucking the tip of the cock. He trailed his tongue across the slit, saliva spilling from his mouth and down the now-wet cock. There was a salty taste as he heard the butler moan lowly due to pleasure. He then lifted Ciel's chin up immediately and crashed his lips against his; tasting the pre-cum instantly.

"You've done well for you first time, Master," he murmured against his lips, reaching down and grasping the small erected member. "I think you're ready now."

"R-ready for what?" whispered Ciel with wide eyes full of fear.

Sebastian sat against the headboard and motioned Ciel to come closer. Ciel obeyed, crawling towards Sebastian slowly until he was beside him. Sebastian pulled off the white night shirt, tossing it onto the floor with the rest of the clothing Sebastian had down there. He laid Ciel onto his back and began spreading his legs apart, checking on Ciel to see if he was alright.

Ciel was trembling in fear as he watched the butler massage the ball sack using the palm of his hand, moaning at the feeling. Not once has anyone ever touched those places. As he continued to 'play' with the ball sack, his other hand travelled over by the young boy's entrance, spreading the two cheeks apart from each other as he wiggled a finger into the small hole. A loud and satisfying moan escaped from Ciel's mouth as he threw his head back into the pillow; squeezing eyes shut. The butler slipped a second finger into the small and tight hole, smirking at the pleasurable moans his Master let out.

He then began curling his fingers and twisting them as he massaged around; stretching the tight hole to prepare him for what was to happen later on that night. As he continued massaging the tight walls inside him, he listened to the moans that came from Ciel.

"S-Sebas…S-Sebastian…" he whimpered painfully; not used to the feeling.

The butler pulled his two fingers out and grinned as Ciel's erected cock was slick with pre-cum. The young boy opened his eyes slowly and stared at Sebastian. He lifted Ciel's legs over his shoulders and steadied his thick member in front of Ciel's entrance. Before the young Earl could process what was about to happen, he yelped as he felt the curved head of the thick and large cock. Small whimpers escaped his lips as he felt it the thick member enter his tight hole slowly. Sebastian was trying to be as gentle as possible, but as soon as he slipped the head of the member inside, he moaned in pleasure from the tightness. Slipping inside more, Sebastian stared down at the young boy whose eyes were shut entirely; whimpering.

"Tell me when you're ready," the butler told him, letting Ciel get used to the feeling of it.

Nodding slowly, Ciel whimpered, "…Y-you can move…"

Slowly and gently, Sebastian slipped his cock in deeper and back out; repeating that process as he earned himself continuous whimpers from the boy. As he continued with the gentle thrusts, he fastened his slow pace and grunted as he tried to contain his strength and own desires. If he didn't, he feared he would harm the young boy from making harsh love to him. Soon enough the whimpers became moans again and Ciel arched his slender back in pleasure, begging for more.

"N-nngh…S-Sebastian…."

"Mm?" grunted Sebastian as he thrusted gently into the small boy.

"M-more…" he whispered, staring at the demon with lust-filled eyes. For Sebastian, that was enough to turn him on. And instantly, his soft thrusts became rough and harsh shoves. Shoving mercilessly into the young Lord, he earned himself pleased and satisfied moans. "A-ah~ S-Sebastian!"

Sebastian listened to the young boy as he continued shoving into him carelessly; groaning at the pleasure he received. As time passed by for the two lovers, Sebastian's cock was deep within him; yet not fully sheathed. Suddenly as he thrusted into Ciel's tiny hole, he heard a sharp gasp from him. A devilish smirk formed across his face as he repeatedly thrusted into him at the same spot; hitting the sensational walls that brought Ciel much pleasure.

"Nnngh...!" Ciel stared at the butler as he panted.

Out of nowhere and without warning, Sebastian rammed his cock into the young boy violently; forgetting that he could hurt him. Each time he rammed into him, Ciel gasped; feeling the demon's large cock fill more within his once-virgin hole. Finally after one final violent ram, his cock was buried completely within Ciel; making the young Earl moan loudly as tears filled his eyes in pain. His muscles were trying to reject the large member, though Ciel still desired it to be inside him. He blinked away the tears and continued to clutch onto the wrinkled and ripped sheets below him.

As the butler continued thrusting deep into him, being completely sheathed with each one, Ciel could feel an oragsim building up. Releasing a very loud moan that anyone could hear, Ciel immediately came at the last shove Sebastian gave. Sebastian on the other hand immediately—when he felt his organism build up-pulled out instantly; his cum spurting over Ciel's stomach and chest, dripping onto the sheets below them.

Leaning over Ciel with deep pants, he smirked and kissed him deeply; Ciel having returned the kiss back with a passion. Weakly, Ciel sat up and shoved his butler against the bed frame once more, crawling over onto him and laying on his chest as he gasped for breath.

"I-I love you, Sebastian…" he whispered breathlessly.

"I love you as well, Ciel," responded Sebastian, kissing the young boy firmly one last time before watching him fall asleep calmly on top of him.


	12. Sequel: Unrequited Love

**A/N: Here is a quick /preview/ of what I've just uploaded. Yeah, crappy I know but check it out maybe? ^^ It's the sequel****_. But I've already published it, so why not take a quick look? ^^_**

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_If he could—just to see the butler one last time—he would take his own life. He didn't care to live in a world full of pain any longer. It disgusted him, frankly. Ciel Phanromhive wanted to live no more; those were his exact thoughts days, hell, years ago. But after seeing that mysterious figure in the woods earlier that day, he didn't want to leave just yet. Instead, he wanted to keep moving forward; hoping to see that figure again._

_Why? Why was it important for him to have one last glimpse? _

_ It was because that figure in the woods reminded him of someone very special in his heart. If he could have a closer look, that would be all he wanted. Ciel didn't believe in any God, but for once in his entire life, he had hoped and prayed to some God, that the man would return again. Pitiful, yes, but Ciel has never been so desperate in his life. Could it really be him? The one who never left his mind ever since that tragic day?_

_ His thoughts scattered as someone knocked lightly on the door of his study. "Come _

_ "Master?" asked Oliver as he opened the door, glancing inside the dark room. "What are you doing still awake? Shouldn't you be asleep?"_

_ "I will be asleep soon. I was just thinking about something," replied Ciel tediously. _

_ "And are you positive you don't want anything to eat? No supper—"_

_ "James, I said I wasn't hungry six times already!" snapped Ciel, narrowing his eyes. "Now leave me alone. I'll put myself to sleep."_

_ "As you wish, Master." Oliver bowed and left the room; leaving Ciel all alone in the dark._

_ Ciel released a small sigh as he rubbed his forehead. "That idiot… Making me snap like that with his irritating questions…"_

_ Pain ached inside him as he remembered the butler again. Ciel would snap at him so often for the silliest things; even when he gave him affection. Why…? Why couldn't Ciel have accepted his feelings for the butler instead of lying and letting him leave him alone? _

_ Sebastian, you…you idiot! I can't believe you died on me… I-I did love you…so bloody much… Why couldn't you see through my lies? You promised me to never leave my side! Why did you suddenly? What did you want from me? Love? Affection? Did you want all this from me? For me to prove my love? W-why didn't you tell me…? I didn't think it had mattered any!_

_ Regret filled inside him as he continued with his adverse thoughts. But the butler didn't want to live any longer if it meant Ciel didn't love him in return. It was understandable, actually. Who would want to stay by someone's side if they didn't receive love in return? It would be an unrequited love. Yes, the love Ciel was feeling now. So alone in the world without the perfect butler. What was so hard about saying three simple words: I love you._

_ The bloody grim reapers were never seen again; not the Undertaker or Grell Sutcliffe. Why did they kill him? What was the whole point? Was it because of their damn rivalry against each other? Was that it? Ciel ran a hand through his hair, remembering the day so precisely and clearly. The death of his butler had shocked everyone. No one expected him to pass away._


End file.
